The All Ireland

Pataphysical Institute


The Pataphysical1 Institute of All2 Ireland is a dedicated science facility. Pataphysics3 researches all causes, effects and procedures of ‘imaginary solutions’4 which, as placebos,5 improve the quality of life.


Pataphysical organisations, mostly production and distribution facilities, have existed since well before the stone age. Most have been localised SME’s,6 but some have achieved global significance.7

There are, currently, in Ireland many hundreds of commercial pataphysical solution suppliers offering both universally applicable and personalised placebos.8 All of them are doing sterling work to improve the quality of life of those suffering the unpleasant affects of survival unfitness.











1. The name ‘Pataphysical’ was coined by a clique of French teenagers, one of whom was Alfred Jarry (1873 –1907). Alfred, who seemed to have been a bit a right misfit become idiot savant, later became a tier two fiction writer specialising in the grotesque and absurd. It was through his writing that he popularised the name and notion of Pataphysics. Probably traumatised in early life, thereafter stricken by la merde d'ennui du fin de siècle idiopathy or some real mental disorder he drank and drugged himself to death at age 34. Like all intelligent and observant human animals he quickly realised that personal life beyond the moment (i.e. as closed eco-system) is an absurd undertaking and that to make the best of its absurd and chaotic and therefore painful aspects it needed to be played as a game (i.e., like rugby or tiddlywinks) that constrains and orders a series of absurd functions thereby making them meaningful. His probably compensatory way out of the painful affects of absurdity was to focus entirely on absurdity and play it in a highly ordered fashion to the exclusion of all else, thus to perfection.

2.  Here ‘all’ is taken to mean: every fundamentally disorientated and confused wally destined to ‘return to earth.’.

3. Pataphysics states that it is ‘the science of imaginary solutions (that create universes supplementary to this one), which symbolically attributes the properties of objects, described by their virtuality, to their lineaments.’ In short, ‘Pataphysics is the science, indeed art/skill/craft of invention (via fantasies) that serves to create upgraded self-transformations that improve the quality of life.’

4. An imaginary solution is in fact an idea or fantasy (always personal) or private). Hence pataphysics is understood as the science of ideation whereby ideation serves as orientation (or navigation) function. An idea (or fantasy) serves as a private, highly compressed user-friendly response in analogue (i.e., for instance, as a picture or fantasy, sound, smell and so on) to a user-unfriendly (i.e., useless) because sequential digital data stream whereby the digits (or quanta) instruct as quantised random events.

5. The word ‘placebo’ is here defined as a communication that pleases. A placebo is a unit (or quantum) of data input that sustains or upgrades a dynamic system, like a human, and so pleases.

6. Such as Tarot readers, Yoga teachers, film stars and pimps.

7. Like, for instance, the Christian Church, FIFA, Capitalism, Ryan Air and Hollywood.

8. Most often masquerading as, i.e., playing the game of life coaches, healers or manicurists.